Spice up fellatio with a mint

March 6, 2009

From the wonderful Debby Herbenick at Time Out Chicago, as part of a larger piece on food and sex:

This one is for the foodies—it takes the old “ice trick” (i.e., sucking on ice and then performing oral sex) up a notch. Ahead of time, slice mint leaves and allow them to soak in water overnight to saturate the water with mintyness. Then, use the minty water (keep the leaves in it) to fill ice trays and stick them in the freezer. When your playdate comes around, suck on minty ice prior to performing oral sex—the change in temperature plus the minty sensation will add major tingles. To turn this trick into “fire and ice,” alternate between sucking on a minty ice cube and sipping hot mint tea in between bouts of oral. Because women’s genitals are more sensitive than men’s, this is best for fellatio. For cunnilingus, omit the mint and just go with the ice and (nonmint) tea, lest you accidentally make your lady too tingly.

Amelia’s New Year’s Resolution: “No More BJs”

December 29, 2008

My friend and sometime editor at The Frisky, Amelia McDonell-Parry, listed her New Year’s resolutions and one of them was:

4. No more BJs: Not completely, I mean, and it’s not like I’m giving them at all right now, given my sex sabbatical, but in, uh, past relationships, I realized I was giving them more than the average woman. My friends confirmed this. Hence, I want to join the ranks of my fellow females and make a blow job a special occasion occurrence, rather than part of my usual routine.

I think that’s interesting; on the one hand, I think it’s great to elevate it to something special. On the other…well, if I get lucky enough to date someone new in the new year, and it’s a guy, I have a feeling he will be getting a lot of blowjobs from me. Not that anyone reading this should be surprised.

Spit vs. swallow: 2 college sex columnists go head to head

September 4, 2008

Two college sex columnists (who write for The Orion, Cal State Chico’s paper) debate the pros and cons of spitting vs. swallowing during blowjobs:

Chris Thompson: Would you like sauce with that?

The feeling you get from pleasing your partner should outweigh the mild stomach churn you may endure.

According to the credible doctors at dontspitswallow.com, cum is a concentrated source of protein and other essential nutrients. And despite its creamy appearance, semen contains about 15 calories per ejaculation.

Not only is cum a nutritious low-fat snack, swallowing just makes everything easier – no cleanup, no awkward post-bust bathroom trips, no problem – right?

Dionna Mash: Would you like sauce with that?

A mouthful of slimy spunk is the last refreshment I want replenishing me after a long, hard workout. Plus, purging the man juice reduces the chance of waking up with a throat full of gonorrhea.

Yep, that’s right. Guzzling down dong water puts you at risk for contracting the Human Papillomavirus, herpes type 1 and 2, Chlamydia and gonorrhea of the throat and HIV, according to www.teenhealthfx.com.

Plus, spitting shows whoever you’re sucking off that even though you’re on your knees, you still have the upper hand.

Oh, and Chris’s best friend – I hate to tell you this, but your ex lied to you. Cum tastes awful. Sure, there’s a range of funk from not-too-bad to putrid, but yummy? Not a chance.

My dirtiest blowjob story ever, in Tasting Him

August 14, 2008

Guess what? Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories is out now! In stock on Amazon.com and everything. Contributors are receiving their copies (though mine have yet to arrive!), and I thought I’d share part 1 of my story “Gloss,” which I used to call “the dirtiest story I’ve ever written.” That might still be applicable, I’m not sure, but it’s definitely an unabashed homage to my love of cocksucking (and it’s fiction, fyi).

Gloss
Rachel Kramer Bussel

Standing in front of the mirror, I apply the gooey liquid to my lips until they shine like glass, not gooey but slick and hard, almost icy. I’m keeping in mind my friend Alice’s advice that “lip gloss should look like you’ve just given someone a blow job.” Whether or not they fulfill this maxim, I know my lips will be the main attraction tonight, which is precisely the idea. They are slick and shiny, like a red race car, boldly drawing attention to themselves, whether the viewer wants to look or not. The rest of my ensemble works, too–clingy black top and short, tight black PVC skirt. But I want people’s eyes firmly on my lips.

I head over to the bar, a plush new one that’s just opened. I’ve been lucky enough to land a coveted invitation to this private party, and I know the crowd will be the cream of the crop. I could have brought a guest, but tonight is by necessity a solo excursion. I’m on a specific mission and need to conduct it in my own way. Finding the right man for a one-night stand, for an electric connection that burns and sizzles as fast and hot as a firecracker, and lasts about as long, requires a unique combination of savvy and intuition and I can’t have any distractions.

Red is the theme of the night, with lush red curtains and a deep garnet shade painted on the walls. I order the watermelon martini, the night’s special, and perch on the bar stool. My legs are tucked under the bar and I don’t bother to showcase them, even though I know they’re magnificent. I’m alone and know exactly what I wantæa hot guy, a stud, someone to entertain me for tonight and tonight only. Someone with a cock that’s hard and hot and needy, just for me. As I close my eyes and lean forward to sip the cold, sweet drink, I feel a presence behind me. After I swallow, I slowly sit up in my chair, leaning back ever so slightly and brushing against the shirtfront of a very slick, well-dressed, handsome man. Not a cute, shaggy hipster like I normally meet or a yuppie Wall Streeter straight out of college, but a real man–a little older, crisp and clean, sophisticated.

I slowly swivel my stool around to look at him, our gazes holding. My knees skim his thighs, and instead of smiling, I reach for my glass and bring it to his lips. The ghost of a smile forms on his face as he lets me tilt the icy red liquid down his throat. I bring the glass back to my own lips and sip again, slowly and deliberately, still meeting his gaze. I’m vaguely aware of the crowd surging around us, the commotion at the bar, but this stranger is occupying the bulk of my attention. I have the urge to wrap my legs around his waist and draw him closer, but I stay composed. I open my mouth, searching for a witty line to introduce myself, but the longer we stare at each other, the more difficult words become.

Instead, I take his left hand and bring it to my mouth, sliding his index finger inside and then carefully sliding it out, my tongue pressing against it the entire time. I push it back in again and repeat the process, this time lightly grazing my teeth along his slightly roughened skin. As I’m about to go for a third round, he moves his hand and trails his wet finger along my neck, ending at the neckline of my dress, his hand resting on my chest.

He reaches his hand out for mine and even though I have half a drink left, I let him lead me into the unisex single-occupancy bathroom. As befits the rest of the décor, the bathroom is lush and lavish, with red tiles and smooth surfaces and a sumptuous upholstered chair along with the sink and toilet. I look up at him, my lips slightly pursed, poised to smile or laugh or smirk, not letting him know which one it will be yet. I keep my eyes locked on his as my hand goes to his crotch, feeling the heat and hardness beneath. I like that I’m in control here, that even though I just met him, I know that he’s at my mercy. He led me here but now I will be leading him. Even down on my knees, I will be the one in control and that thought sends a shiver through my body. Ignoring the chair for a moment, I step closer and then drag myself down his body, my breasts sliding along his torso, my nipples hardening at the friction as I sink to the floor. It’s hard to keep my commanding gaze as I look up at him, but somehow I manage even though inside I’m melting. I close my eyes for a second as my hand reaches up reverently to stroke his cock through his pants.

I glance briefly at the chair but then realize that I like it better down here on the cold floor, the tiles pressing into my knees as I fumble with his belt buckle. I’m soaking wet and will surely have to remove my panties later, but for the moment all I care about is his cock and getting it into my mouth. He helps me undo his zipper and before his pants are even pushed down his thighs, I’m leaning forward, my tongue darting forth to lick a slow, teasing line along the length of his cock. I move closer so my knees are pressed up against the sides of his shoes, my legs slightly spread as I try to taste all of him at once. He sighs and groans and I look up at him for a moment, no longer smirking at all, simply acknowledging how right it feels to be here in front of him. His eyes are almost too intense and I close mine before guiding the length of his smooth, warm cock into my mouth, going slowly until I have all of him inside of me…..

Highly recommended: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex: Fellatio

August 13, 2008

Yes, sex educator, author, erotica editor, porn star and director and all around smart, kinky person Tristan Taormino is a friend of mine. But I can honestly say that this move of hers is crazy hot. I rarely watch porn and I was all over this (umm…and my vibrator). Bald guys getting blowjobs? It’s like Rachel porn heaven!

See hot pics from the set at Fleshbot

Here’s the description from Adult Film Database:

Women attend a fellatio workshop lead by sex expert Tristan Taormino, where she teaches about male sexual anatomy and offers explicit advice and detailed examples to improve and enhance your oral sex skills. She welcomes her co-hosts Roxy and Christian who then demonstrate various techniques for the crowd as Tristan narrates what they are doing; workshop participants watch and ask questions. After the workshop, we meet Kaiya and Alec, who discuss their thoughts about oral sex and share some of their tips and tricks for maximum pleasure. Kaiya gives Alec an enthusiastic blow job while illustrating the benefits of different positions and stimulation techniques. Next, we meet Lindsey and Marcos and watch as they explore this intimate activity with an incredible display of honesty, vulnerability, and intensity. Through generous, throughful communication, their trust and connection builds before your eyes. As Lindsey experiments with different ways to use her hands and mouth for stimulation, her impressive skills bring Marcos intense pleasure and the heat between them is palpable. Her efforts culminate in an earth shattering orgasm for him. Alec returns, this time with gorgeous blond Adrianna, and she demonstrates several elements of advanced oral sex, including deep throat techniques. Discover more about prostate stimulation, fellatio on an uncircumcised penis, and safer sex tips in the mini-features included as extras on the DVD. Delve into the world of fellatio, taught by sex expert Tristan Taormino and demonstrated with knowledge and skill by enthusiastic couples. Learn, experience, and enjoy oral pleasure, by experts.

Another blowjob tutorial, this time from College Callgirl

August 13, 2008

One of my favorite bloggers, College Callgirl, offers a blowjob tutorial:

USING YOUR HANDS
If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance.

Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams.

And I love this:

I’m pretty sure if I tried to analyze the sloppy-mouthed voodoo I perform when I give oral sex, it would look something like this:

Porn star Sasha Grey on why she likes fellatio

August 13, 2008

Porn star Sasha Grey on how she moved from thinking blowjobs were “gross” to loving giving them – via YouTube – she also talks about being submissive or dominant while giving a blowjob, which I think is a fascinating topic.

Chelseagirl on the joys of deepthroating

August 13, 2008

from a classic post by Pretty Dumb Things blogger Chelseagirl: “what it feels like for a deep-throating girl”

The mouthfeel of a hard cock is singular. A soft cock kind of feels like other things, like a finger or maybe an unflexed muscle. A soft cock is sort of floppy and soft, and maybe sucking it stirs up primordial memories of nursing. At any rate, when my mouth wraps around a flaccid dick, the sensation isn’t so wholly unto itself as wrapping my mouth around an erect cock.

The erect cock has a kind of kinetic smoothness, a sort of strange resilient rigidity. There is almost no drag as my mouth moves over the taut skin of a hard dick. Something about the hard dick—a hard dick that I like, which for the intents and purposes of this piece we’ll just take as assumed—compels me to suck it. A soft dick elicits a different response from me; I want to nurture it with my mouth. A hard dick, though, I feel a challenge to devour.

When I’m in bed with Donny, for example, I often have to remind myself to slow down and tease him. Intellectually, I recognize the purpose of the oral tease; I get the point of attenuating the blowjob act for his pleasure. But when I’m on my knees in front of him, or hovering over his prone body, or supine with him straddling my shoulders, and his big fat-bellied cock is there—right there—in front of my nose, it’s pretty much all I can do not to take it in my mouth and down my gullet as far as I can, which, at first, isn’t so far.

The art of deep-throating lies in two things: creating enough high-quality viscous porn-starry spit, and relaxing your throat to accommodating proportions. Both take time. The gag reflex is my friend, I know, and so I court it with a wily coquettishness. I take the dick in as far as it just uncomfortably will go, and I wait, holding my breath, until I find my throat begin to relax and until I need to breathe. Then I’ll slide my mouth to the tip, do a little do-si-do with my tongue at the end, and slide back up until I just barely begin to gag and hold again, swallowing the tip.

At these moments what I feel is a mixture of challenge and trust and pride. I trust the man not to thrust and fuck up my prep time. I challenge myself to see how much I can put in my throat, how long I can hold it, how easily I can get ready. And I feel pride in a blowjob well begun. When a guy does thrust and fuck my face before I have properly lubed my throat, it hurts. It feels a lot like when you swallow very hot soup or too big a piece of lamb shank. It sometimes makes me gag a bit, and other times it makes me gag a lot.

How do you give the best blowjob?

August 13, 2008

Q: How do you give the best blow job he’s ever gotten?

My friend Alexis McKinnis answers this question so brilliantly in her Alexis on the Sexes column for Minneapolis paper vita.mn, I’ll leave it to her:

Fellatio is a game of confidence. Before you even start, get it in your head that you’re about to give your man the most pleasurable experience he’s ever had. The more you tell yourself this, the better your performance will be…

Use your boobs, because straight guys like boobs. There’s no need to limit the blow job to oral manipulation; head upward and kiss his chest and belly while the girls introduce themselves to Mr. Johnson. Push down slightly and rock in an up-and-down motion, then let up and run your nipples along his sensitive parts.

Read the rest of her blowjob tutorial here.

Tasting Him hits bookstores in September 2008

August 13, 2008

(Hint: this book should be available in August – copies are in to the publisher! I’ll post when you can get them in your hot little hands.)

Check back here for fellatio stories and more info on Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, in stores September 2008 from Cleis Press.

Below is the Table of Contents and introduction:

Introduction: The Power and Pleasure of Cocksucking
Gloss by Rachel Kramer Bussel
A Treatise of Human Nature by Robert Peregrine
Quite a Mouthful: Confessions of a Sweet Cocksucker by Tish Andersen
This Just In by Heidi Champa
Blessed Benediction by Radclyffe
How I Learned to Give Good Head by Amanda Earl
Without Eyes by Terri Pray
Tony Tempo by Tsaurah Litzky
A Tongue is Just a Tongue by Michelle Robinson
It’s a Wonderful Blowjob by Simon Sheppard
Down on the Beach by Alessia Brio
Getting Used to It by Tenille Brown
Cocksucker by Lori Selke
Prego by Alison Tyler
Equanimity Unbounded by Craig J. Sorensen
Fellatio: A Love Story by Scarlett French
Logic by Jacqueline Applebee
Frosted by Kristina Wright
Long Relief by T. Hitman
Open Wide by Marina Saint
Sketch of a Suckoff by Thomas S. Roche
Sculpted by Shanna Germain
After Dinner Mint by Donna George Storey

Introduction: The Power and Pleasure of Cocksucking

It’s common knowledge that I have a decided oral fixation, and to me, nothing signals the culmination of that fixation better than giving a blow job. In so many ways, it’s my favorite erotic act in and of itself, or as foreplay. Sometimes, our culture sends the message that those who enjoy going down are somehow only doing the bidding of someone else who’s getting all the pleasure. Caitlin Flanagan asked in The Atlantic Monthly in a rambling review of the young adult novel Rainbow Party, “Whatever happened to the hand job? Whither the dry hump? Why do girls prefer the far more debasing, uncomfortable, and messy blow job?” What she doesn’t realize is that some of us enjoy blow jobs precisely because they can be “debasing, uncomfortable, and messy.” We like to savor those sensations, engage with the power play, get off on being “ordered” to do it. Or we lustily get down on our knees and demand that our lovers give us their cocks. We know that the power of a good blow job goes both ways, and now, we want you to know just how hot it makes us.

What’s special about Tasting Him, though, is that these aren’t your usual blow jobs. There’s no rush to get the “job” aspect of it over with. There’s power play in these blow jobs and, just to be clear, they’re not all “him”s receiving them. Oh, no. Here, cocks are real and metaphorical, made of solid flesh and even more solid silicone. Here, men and women get down on their knees and take what’s rightfully theirs. Women discover the power of getting a blow job, while a few men surprise themselves with their own prowess.

Recently, I read an amazing story, “Me, When I’m with You,” by Matthilde Madden, in my friend Alison Tyler’s anthology H Is for Hardcore. In it, a woman gives a man a blow job. Nothing that unusual there…except that she’s the top in the story, a woman who rules the roost, who orders her lover to spend whole days naked. She reigns over him, and yet she manages to go down on him without losing control. She reclaims the act of taking a man’s member into her mouth, showing him who’s really in charge. Madden wrote, “I love sucking your cock. It took me a while to find a suitably dom way of sucking your cock, but eventually I discovered that if your hands were tied behind your back and your ankles were forced apart with a spreader bar and your nipples were clamped and I had a vibrator tight against your arsehole, that worked for me.”

That is precisely the kind of energy I wanted to bring to this book. There are blow-job queens and blow-job virgins, those who are squeamish and those who are shy. There are those who live to suck cock and those who live to get their cocks sucked. There are lessons of the practical and more ephemeral to be learned here.

While I can’t guarantee that this book will lead to better blow jobs (though I do encourage you, like the protagonist in Scarlett French’s “Fellatio: A Love Story,” to check out Violet Blue’s how-to book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio), I can strongly predict that you won’t be able to make it all the way through these twenty-four tales without having to put your hands down your pants. Whether you possess one or not, you’ll likely want to get your dick sucked by the end of this book, unless your mouth is too busy watering.

Like French’s character, there are many teachers and students here, some eager to learn all they can about how to make the experience hotter and juicier for their lovers, and some who are shown the ropes by those who care enough to explain exactly what gets them off. In stories like Robert Peregrine’s “A Treatise on Human Nature,” a man tries to teach his new female lover “how to give head like a man,” while in the kinky “Quite a Mouthful: Confessions of a Sweet Cocksucker” by Tish Andersen and “Without Eyes” by Terri Pray, the women in these stories get over their fears and let their masters take control of their mouths, then thrill to the slurping sounds and sensations of real submission. And “Tony Tempo,” the title character in Tsaurah Litzky’s story, shows you’re never too old to enjoy a perfectly pursed pair of lips.

Another natural theme here also involves oral pleasure of a different sort. Food and fellatio seem to go, well, hand in mouth, as seen in Alison Tyler’s inventive “Prego,” involving, yes, the spaghetti sauce, Kristina Wright’s cinnamon roll treat “Frosted,” and Donna George Storey’s exploration of the famed powers of an “After Dinner Mint,” or in this case, liqueur, on a blow job. All speak to the sensual power of a hungry mouth, and show the ways both appetites can be satisfied at the same time.

The getter and giver are both worshipped in these stories. While many tell of an insatiable yearning for a full mouth, others share the thrill, both corporeal and visual, of the blow job, along with the pronounced power dynamics. In “Blessed Benediction,” prolific erotica writer Radclyffe gives us some insight into what it’s like to watch the one you love put her pretty little lips to good use:

Now, the reason my girl is such a great cocksucker is that she understands that a blow job is as much about the show as it is about her hot, wet mouth sliding up and down my cock until I come in her mouth. She doesn’t go down on me like it’s a chore, or penance, or a favor. She turns giving head into a work of art. Every move is designed to let me know she gets off on my cock, and that teasing my rod makes her cream.

Hers and other stories here show that you don’t have to be a man to have a cock, or to enjoy having it licked, sucked, and swallowed. Getting a blow job is about both the physical sensation, and the view, whether she’s blindfolded as in Pray’s story, or staring up at you while her mouth is full.

Tasting Him pays tribute to those who enjoy the act, and art, of fellatio wherever it occur–in a bed, in the crashing surf, as in Alessia Brio’s “Down on the Beach,” or at a kitchen table, as in Tenille Brown’s “Getting Used to It.” I hope it turns you on as much to read these tales as it did me to edit them.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.