Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Spice up fellatio with a mint

March 6, 2009

From the wonderful Debby Herbenick at Time Out Chicago, as part of a larger piece on food and sex:

This one is for the foodies—it takes the old “ice trick” (i.e., sucking on ice and then performing oral sex) up a notch. Ahead of time, slice mint leaves and allow them to soak in water overnight to saturate the water with mintyness. Then, use the minty water (keep the leaves in it) to fill ice trays and stick them in the freezer. When your playdate comes around, suck on minty ice prior to performing oral sex—the change in temperature plus the minty sensation will add major tingles. To turn this trick into “fire and ice,” alternate between sucking on a minty ice cube and sipping hot mint tea in between bouts of oral. Because women’s genitals are more sensitive than men’s, this is best for fellatio. For cunnilingus, omit the mint and just go with the ice and (nonmint) tea, lest you accidentally make your lady too tingly.


Amelia’s New Year’s Resolution: “No More BJs”

December 29, 2008

My friend and sometime editor at The Frisky, Amelia McDonell-Parry, listed her New Year’s resolutions and one of them was:

4. No more BJs: Not completely, I mean, and it’s not like I’m giving them at all right now, given my sex sabbatical, but in, uh, past relationships, I realized I was giving them more than the average woman. My friends confirmed this. Hence, I want to join the ranks of my fellow females and make a blow job a special occasion occurrence, rather than part of my usual routine.

I think that’s interesting; on the one hand, I think it’s great to elevate it to something special. On the other…well, if I get lucky enough to date someone new in the new year, and it’s a guy, I have a feeling he will be getting a lot of blowjobs from me. Not that anyone reading this should be surprised.

Spit vs. swallow: 2 college sex columnists go head to head

September 4, 2008

Two college sex columnists (who write for The Orion, Cal State Chico’s paper) debate the pros and cons of spitting vs. swallowing during blowjobs:

Chris Thompson: Would you like sauce with that?

The feeling you get from pleasing your partner should outweigh the mild stomach churn you may endure.

According to the credible doctors at, cum is a concentrated source of protein and other essential nutrients. And despite its creamy appearance, semen contains about 15 calories per ejaculation.

Not only is cum a nutritious low-fat snack, swallowing just makes everything easier – no cleanup, no awkward post-bust bathroom trips, no problem – right?

Dionna Mash: Would you like sauce with that?

A mouthful of slimy spunk is the last refreshment I want replenishing me after a long, hard workout. Plus, purging the man juice reduces the chance of waking up with a throat full of gonorrhea.

Yep, that’s right. Guzzling down dong water puts you at risk for contracting the Human Papillomavirus, herpes type 1 and 2, Chlamydia and gonorrhea of the throat and HIV, according to

Plus, spitting shows whoever you’re sucking off that even though you’re on your knees, you still have the upper hand.

Oh, and Chris’s best friend – I hate to tell you this, but your ex lied to you. Cum tastes awful. Sure, there’s a range of funk from not-too-bad to putrid, but yummy? Not a chance.

Another blowjob tutorial, this time from College Callgirl

August 13, 2008

One of my favorite bloggers, College Callgirl, offers a blowjob tutorial:

If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance.

Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams.

And I love this:

I’m pretty sure if I tried to analyze the sloppy-mouthed voodoo I perform when I give oral sex, it would look something like this:

Chelseagirl on the joys of deepthroating

August 13, 2008

from a classic post by Pretty Dumb Things blogger Chelseagirl: “what it feels like for a deep-throating girl”

The mouthfeel of a hard cock is singular. A soft cock kind of feels like other things, like a finger or maybe an unflexed muscle. A soft cock is sort of floppy and soft, and maybe sucking it stirs up primordial memories of nursing. At any rate, when my mouth wraps around a flaccid dick, the sensation isn’t so wholly unto itself as wrapping my mouth around an erect cock.

The erect cock has a kind of kinetic smoothness, a sort of strange resilient rigidity. There is almost no drag as my mouth moves over the taut skin of a hard dick. Something about the hard dick—a hard dick that I like, which for the intents and purposes of this piece we’ll just take as assumed—compels me to suck it. A soft dick elicits a different response from me; I want to nurture it with my mouth. A hard dick, though, I feel a challenge to devour.

When I’m in bed with Donny, for example, I often have to remind myself to slow down and tease him. Intellectually, I recognize the purpose of the oral tease; I get the point of attenuating the blowjob act for his pleasure. But when I’m on my knees in front of him, or hovering over his prone body, or supine with him straddling my shoulders, and his big fat-bellied cock is there—right there—in front of my nose, it’s pretty much all I can do not to take it in my mouth and down my gullet as far as I can, which, at first, isn’t so far.

The art of deep-throating lies in two things: creating enough high-quality viscous porn-starry spit, and relaxing your throat to accommodating proportions. Both take time. The gag reflex is my friend, I know, and so I court it with a wily coquettishness. I take the dick in as far as it just uncomfortably will go, and I wait, holding my breath, until I find my throat begin to relax and until I need to breathe. Then I’ll slide my mouth to the tip, do a little do-si-do with my tongue at the end, and slide back up until I just barely begin to gag and hold again, swallowing the tip.

At these moments what I feel is a mixture of challenge and trust and pride. I trust the man not to thrust and fuck up my prep time. I challenge myself to see how much I can put in my throat, how long I can hold it, how easily I can get ready. And I feel pride in a blowjob well begun. When a guy does thrust and fuck my face before I have properly lubed my throat, it hurts. It feels a lot like when you swallow very hot soup or too big a piece of lamb shank. It sometimes makes me gag a bit, and other times it makes me gag a lot.

Tasting Him hits bookstores in September 2008

August 13, 2008

(Hint: this book should be available in August – copies are in to the publisher! I’ll post when you can get them in your hot little hands.)

Check back here for fellatio stories and more info on Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, in stores September 2008 from Cleis Press.

Below is the Table of Contents and introduction:

Introduction: The Power and Pleasure of Cocksucking
Gloss by Rachel Kramer Bussel
A Treatise of Human Nature by Robert Peregrine
Quite a Mouthful: Confessions of a Sweet Cocksucker by Tish Andersen
This Just In by Heidi Champa
Blessed Benediction by Radclyffe
How I Learned to Give Good Head by Amanda Earl
Without Eyes by Terri Pray
Tony Tempo by Tsaurah Litzky
A Tongue is Just a Tongue by Michelle Robinson
It’s a Wonderful Blowjob by Simon Sheppard
Down on the Beach by Alessia Brio
Getting Used to It by Tenille Brown
Cocksucker by Lori Selke
Prego by Alison Tyler
Equanimity Unbounded by Craig J. Sorensen
Fellatio: A Love Story by Scarlett French
Logic by Jacqueline Applebee
Frosted by Kristina Wright
Long Relief by T. Hitman
Open Wide by Marina Saint
Sketch of a Suckoff by Thomas S. Roche
Sculpted by Shanna Germain
After Dinner Mint by Donna George Storey

Introduction: The Power and Pleasure of Cocksucking

It’s common knowledge that I have a decided oral fixation, and to me, nothing signals the culmination of that fixation better than giving a blow job. In so many ways, it’s my favorite erotic act in and of itself, or as foreplay. Sometimes, our culture sends the message that those who enjoy going down are somehow only doing the bidding of someone else who’s getting all the pleasure. Caitlin Flanagan asked in The Atlantic Monthly in a rambling review of the young adult novel Rainbow Party, “Whatever happened to the hand job? Whither the dry hump? Why do girls prefer the far more debasing, uncomfortable, and messy blow job?” What she doesn’t realize is that some of us enjoy blow jobs precisely because they can be “debasing, uncomfortable, and messy.” We like to savor those sensations, engage with the power play, get off on being “ordered” to do it. Or we lustily get down on our knees and demand that our lovers give us their cocks. We know that the power of a good blow job goes both ways, and now, we want you to know just how hot it makes us.

What’s special about Tasting Him, though, is that these aren’t your usual blow jobs. There’s no rush to get the “job” aspect of it over with. There’s power play in these blow jobs and, just to be clear, they’re not all “him”s receiving them. Oh, no. Here, cocks are real and metaphorical, made of solid flesh and even more solid silicone. Here, men and women get down on their knees and take what’s rightfully theirs. Women discover the power of getting a blow job, while a few men surprise themselves with their own prowess.

Recently, I read an amazing story, “Me, When I’m with You,” by Matthilde Madden, in my friend Alison Tyler’s anthology H Is for Hardcore. In it, a woman gives a man a blow job. Nothing that unusual there…except that she’s the top in the story, a woman who rules the roost, who orders her lover to spend whole days naked. She reigns over him, and yet she manages to go down on him without losing control. She reclaims the act of taking a man’s member into her mouth, showing him who’s really in charge. Madden wrote, “I love sucking your cock. It took me a while to find a suitably dom way of sucking your cock, but eventually I discovered that if your hands were tied behind your back and your ankles were forced apart with a spreader bar and your nipples were clamped and I had a vibrator tight against your arsehole, that worked for me.”

That is precisely the kind of energy I wanted to bring to this book. There are blow-job queens and blow-job virgins, those who are squeamish and those who are shy. There are those who live to suck cock and those who live to get their cocks sucked. There are lessons of the practical and more ephemeral to be learned here.

While I can’t guarantee that this book will lead to better blow jobs (though I do encourage you, like the protagonist in Scarlett French’s “Fellatio: A Love Story,” to check out Violet Blue’s how-to book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio), I can strongly predict that you won’t be able to make it all the way through these twenty-four tales without having to put your hands down your pants. Whether you possess one or not, you’ll likely want to get your dick sucked by the end of this book, unless your mouth is too busy watering.

Like French’s character, there are many teachers and students here, some eager to learn all they can about how to make the experience hotter and juicier for their lovers, and some who are shown the ropes by those who care enough to explain exactly what gets them off. In stories like Robert Peregrine’s “A Treatise on Human Nature,” a man tries to teach his new female lover “how to give head like a man,” while in the kinky “Quite a Mouthful: Confessions of a Sweet Cocksucker” by Tish Andersen and “Without Eyes” by Terri Pray, the women in these stories get over their fears and let their masters take control of their mouths, then thrill to the slurping sounds and sensations of real submission. And “Tony Tempo,” the title character in Tsaurah Litzky’s story, shows you’re never too old to enjoy a perfectly pursed pair of lips.

Another natural theme here also involves oral pleasure of a different sort. Food and fellatio seem to go, well, hand in mouth, as seen in Alison Tyler’s inventive “Prego,” involving, yes, the spaghetti sauce, Kristina Wright’s cinnamon roll treat “Frosted,” and Donna George Storey’s exploration of the famed powers of an “After Dinner Mint,” or in this case, liqueur, on a blow job. All speak to the sensual power of a hungry mouth, and show the ways both appetites can be satisfied at the same time.

The getter and giver are both worshipped in these stories. While many tell of an insatiable yearning for a full mouth, others share the thrill, both corporeal and visual, of the blow job, along with the pronounced power dynamics. In “Blessed Benediction,” prolific erotica writer Radclyffe gives us some insight into what it’s like to watch the one you love put her pretty little lips to good use:

Now, the reason my girl is such a great cocksucker is that she understands that a blow job is as much about the show as it is about her hot, wet mouth sliding up and down my cock until I come in her mouth. She doesn’t go down on me like it’s a chore, or penance, or a favor. She turns giving head into a work of art. Every move is designed to let me know she gets off on my cock, and that teasing my rod makes her cream.

Hers and other stories here show that you don’t have to be a man to have a cock, or to enjoy having it licked, sucked, and swallowed. Getting a blow job is about both the physical sensation, and the view, whether she’s blindfolded as in Pray’s story, or staring up at you while her mouth is full.

Tasting Him pays tribute to those who enjoy the act, and art, of fellatio wherever it occur–in a bed, in the crashing surf, as in Alessia Brio’s “Down on the Beach,” or at a kitchen table, as in Tenille Brown’s “Getting Used to It.” I hope it turns you on as much to read these tales as it did me to edit them.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City